Post Dead Poet's Society Jargon.

So often we find ourselves trying to fit in, trying to be that person... the one that will be looked upon years down the road and be remembered for something great.

So often we take steps towards being that person; we walk into positions that others feel are best for us, but for what? We allow other people to control our decisions; we allow other people to control our lives.

So often we end up doing what other people want us to do; we blindly go where no (wo)man should allow themselves to be lead: nowhere. We have given up our ability to live the life we are given. Instead, we live the life that somebody else wants for us: our parents, our friends, and even strangers guide our lives to places we don't want to go.

So often we find ourselves making decisions that are contrary to our own desires, our own wants, our own needs. We stand at a fork in the road and instead of actively choosing a path to go down, we follow the trail that is already marked with bright flashing lights that say "Go this way!" There is no choice in the matter, it is all planned out before we even get there. For what?

It is one thing to seek advice, and another thing completely to be lead by the hand to a place unknown. So often... the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know what it is, but I was trying to go to sleep just a few minutes ago, and I couldn't. I watched a movie and my mind was full of images, words, and thoughts that needed to be expressed before my mind would allow my body to rest. It was this movie that illuminated a lot of things that have been going on in my life... things that shouldn't be happening, things that should be happening, and things that are completely out of my control.

I sat on the couch thinking, "This should be a good movie." I had borrowed it from a friend, thinking the same thing. I put it in, settled down, and away we go....

Carpe Diem... seize the day! "Take chances, make mistakes, get dirty," as Ms. Frizzle used to say before going on a Magic School Bus ride. "Seize your divine moment," as Erwin Raphael McManus writes in his book. All of this is great, but what are you seizing, what is there to grasp, what mistakes are to be made, how dirty are we to get? None of us can answer these questions until we go there.

In order to seize the day, you have to want it, you have to crave the day that is to come. There is nothing that anybody can do to prepare you for it, it just has to happen. Be it starting a new relationship, finding a new job, writing a paper, ending an old relationship... it is not a choice that has to be thought out, it is an action that has to be taken. You have to go there.

The build-up may be intense, there may be a lot of preparation before hand, but it is all for not. There is nothing that can be taught, learned, or provided for us to get us to the point where we seize the day. So often people think that one's life needs to be planned out: 2 years at community college, 2 years at another institution, 3 years for a masters, get married, have 2.54 kids by the time they are 30, and then have a doctorate somewhere in there as well.... then maybe take up sailing... then maybe teach your kid how to throw a baseball... then maybe take your significant other on a romantic cruise... You have to go there.

You have to go to the place inside of you where there are no more choices; there are no more worries; there are no more fears. You have to go to the place inside of you where there is pure action. You have seize the day so that there is no question left unanswered; no planning, no fear, no consequence... just action. Swing by your wife's work, pick her up, drive to the middle of nowhere and be together... that's action. You have to go there.

All of these words are but jibberish on my screen, and yet there is no fear, there is no worry. It's happening whether I/you like it or not. What comes of it doesn't matter, it is done. I am going to that place where there are no questions left unanswered, no fear, no consequence. I am seizing this moment and making it my own. You can go there too.

It doesn't happen all the time, but maybe it should. So often we find ourselves being lead by our hand down a path that we dare not travel, but why? Somebody else is seizing our day for us, and we're letting them. It is your day, do with it what you will. You have to go there, you have to want it, you have to feel it, you have to crave it. Seize your day, before it gets taken away and you never see it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lost without words, despairing without thoughts. It is times like these that we wish for something worse than death... silence.

It is far too often that I think that I am missing out on something because I was a religion major, because I like to work with kids, because I don't go to church. These thoughts come and go as they please and there is no stopping them.

Am I missing out? Is there something magical about being a business major that allows them magic powers? Until I see them flying around the world, curing cancer instantly.. I'll pass!

I may have taken up studies that do no yield the highest paying jobs, but what does that matter? We all die in the end... money is wasted, possessions are left to rot, and people come and go. In the end all you have to look back on is what you accomplished: are you going to die happy or sad? I want to die a happy person, and money is not the key to my happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, there you have it... my burst of thought has subsided, and it is now time to allow my body to rest. Until next time....

-Andy J. Graves