Stoning the Rebellion out of You!

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

A Rebellious Son

¹⁸ If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, ¹⁹ his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. ²⁰ They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” ²¹ Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

¤ ~~~~~~†~~~~~~ ¤

 

I don't often start these posts with a verse, but this time seem fitting. Plus, this verse seems to help center my thoughts into something meaningful, which is always a plus for me. Although, I will most likely end up ranting about something before it is all written, so just prepare yourself for that!

 

I have been a rebellious son for a good part of my life: talking back, doing things when I was told not to, disrespecting my mom and dad, being mean to my brother, dating somebody I should not have (according to my parents), losing relationships with girls I should not have (according to them), did two years of volunteer work instead of getting a real job, studying religion instead of a "real subject," not really wanting to get married or having kids (which is their dream for their boys), and the list goes on and on. However, I must say that I'm glad that my parent's aren't Old Testament Jews, because I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. I would have been stoned by the men of our town, in an attempt to purge the evil among us--set an example for all the other little boys in my community.

 

To be honest though, I feel that sometimes we need to bring some of the old ways back. Then maybe we would have less problems, the justice system wouldn't be as bogged down with appeals and all the other garbage that keeps things from being swift and easy. However, that's not what this is about (at least I don't think it is).

 

No, that is not what this is about. This is about the difference between respect and fear. There is a fine line between the two, and more often than not it is traversed poorly!

 

Throughout history people have cultivated a culture of fear rather than respect: monarchs, churches, congress, teachers, supervisors, managers, parents, and even the evening weather people.

 

People who are perceived to have the power, more often that not, use that perception to hold people down--to crush souls and forget names, if you will. The masses become faceless, and the abuse of power becomes unstoppable. It becomes a culture of scare tactics and fear. The tricky bit is that it starts with respect, at least in most cases.

 

Respect is earned by showing people one is trustworthy and kind and all of those nice things people say about the ones they show admiration for. However, when that respectful admiration penetrates the part of the brain that enjoys such things, turns it against the world. We become fiends--slavery, idolatry of written words, Stockholm Syndrome anybody? Yes, it happens ALL the time! The question is, what do we do about it?

 

I have no idea!

 

As much as I think to myself, "I am tired of scare tactics and people who buy into them," my mind is drawn back to all of the things that I don't do because I'm afraid of the end result. We have been trained to fear, nearly, everything. Especially when it comes to failure! Instead of stepping out in faith that something will be prosperous in the aftermath of choices, we stand idly by while the world marches on. This is where I am right now...

 

I want to move on to new things. I want to experience being a part of an organization where I am truly cared for as an individual, rather than a means to an end that I don't agree with! However, instead of acting, I sit and think about the possibilities and how scared I am to move somewhere, to struggle to find a job, to be homeless for a time. Why turn my back on a place in my life where things are okay. I have a full time job, I have a place to live that costs very little, I have enough money to live, nearly, however I see fit. Even though that's the case, I'm not happy. I'm not satisfied with my place in life. I'm afraid to move on, again.

 

I ran away from a place that truly valued me. They were willing to go above an beyond in order to keep me there, but I ran because I was scared. I ran back to comfort, just to find myself in a place that is not worth being in. My longing for security and closeness to things I thought I wanted, was in vein. I lost community, I lost people, I lost a place where I truly was welcomed in for a non-profit organization that cares more about money and looking good than the people who work there--good job right?

 

Nonetheless, we live in a world where fear rules. The only way to overcome it... is to steadily march forward. To keep moving. To keep striving for better. To keep on in the face of insurmountable obstacles. Sometimes you have to go it alone, but, more often than not, there are always people there to support you. Open your eyes and see that you are not alone.

 

In closing, I have been talking to some of my co-workers and have found that there are a handful of them that are in similar places as I am. Seeking, searching, and lost! I find a little comfort in knowing that I am not by myself, even though I am the only one who can take the steps to get to new places. Nobody can help me move on, which is my problem. I'm all talk and no trouser (or more appropriately, no walk).

 

I think myself in circles, and never get anything accomplished. Sometimes, you have to shut-up and do something--California for vacation, you bet! Step 1, complete. Step 2: find a more meaningful/rewarding place of employment. Step 3: Live life for a living, rather than hiding in fear! 

 

 I may be a rebellious son, but my parents love me enough not to have me stoned at the public square; at least for now!

 

-Andy J. Graves